We Hardly Knew Them...

 Dim the lights...

And now we come to the 'In memorium...' section of the awards. A perennial favourite amongst the fans of our glorious game; we get to look back on our lost champions, revere their names  and relive the hapless circumstances that led to their inglorious ends. You'll laugh, you'll cry but mostly you'll ask yourself 'Why do they do that? It looks painful...'

This season we had a bumper crop with fourteen deaths across the regular season. And this doesn't include the death of Star Player Wilhelm 'The Wolfman' Chaney! He was killed by Stiletto in the game between SparkleMotion and Rolands Runners but was quickly upgraded to alive by his personal apothecary after the game. Stiletto himself was then given the everlasting red card by a lowly mercenary gorilla from IWBLYOO. Hey...what goes around comes around.

The Simyin, Skaven and Vampires all suffered two deaths apiece with both the SparkleMotion deaths coming as a result of Fouls. One of these a heinous game ending foul from Bully on Ydna - furious at seeing the vamps snatch a draw at the death the award winning Mino vented his frustration on poor old Ynda. He was scraped off the astrogranite but the apothecary was already treating one of the vampires for sunstroke. RIP Ydna.

Finally we come to the Talons Of Horus who should commended for putting so many of their players on the front line for out entertainment. The Talons suffered four deaths in the regular season including the wonderfully named Jean Mon'Petit! Should have stayed in the forest fighting with quarterstaffs my friend.

Full list below...adieu mes amis!

Grim Reaper's Little Helpers

And now, thanks to the excellent reporting efforts of the coaches, we are able to resurrect (ahem) one of our past awards! The title of Grim Reaper's Little Helpers is given to the team that inflicts the most deaths on their opponents.

And the winners, despite taking two casualties for every one inflicted, were none other than the sneaky, cheeky skaven of Rolands Runners. They managed to kill three of their opponents despite only inflicting eleven casualties! Must be that apo and his bioweapons again. 

Special shout out to Bully (eye roll) who was responsible for all three of his team's deaths. Coach Paul needs to seriously look into enrolling him on Rinder. All that pent up aggression can't be good...

Lastly, 'not blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be booted out of the league for being boring' said the arch prophet Bhryan of Nuffle. Take heed Heavymetalz! Not one death did they suffer or inflict during their nine games. Probably too busy eying up potential groupies in the crowd or noodling on their sittars on the sidelines. Buck up your ideas boys...you're supposed to be Rock Stars!